Pranking Polyphemous

‘So, you ask me the name I’m known by, Cyclops?

I will tell you. But you must give me a guest-gift

as you promised. Nobody–that’s my name. Nobody–

so my mother and father call me, all my friends.’

But he boomed back at me from his ruthless heart,

Nobody? I’ll eat Nobody last of all his friends–

I’ll eat the others first! That’s my gift to you!’


The Odyssey, Book 9

Translated by Robert Fagles

Viking Penguin, 1996

Making the Grade

Overheard at a Towson University café.

Two students talking about a test they just took:

“I think I got an A,” the young woman says.

“Really? I’d be happy with a C. Why did you want an A. I’m just curious,” says the guy.

“Oh, I just want to keep my GPA up.”

“Why? I’ve read from various sources that college grades don’t mean that much.”

“Well,” says she. “I can get a discount on my car insurance.”

“What?? Car insurance shouldn’t give out discounts like that. It’s bribery in a way.”

Later, I thought: So what’s a grade then?