Spray Daze

I hate spray-on sunscreen.

Not that I use it. Most everyone else seems to lately.

At the pool or beach, clouds of chemicals spew from bottles, invading my air space. I try to avoid breathing in the mists of tiny anti-skin cancer globules, but dodging exposure has become increasingly difficult.

I just don’t get it. We’ve all but outlawed smoking outdoors nationwide, and hairspray and aerosol deodorant are all passé and environmentally taboo, yet we are now subjected to a new second-hand atmospheric scourge.

Just because some people are too lazy to rub in lotion, do the rest of us have to inhale Oxtinoxate, Oxybenzone, Avobezone, Octisalate, or Homosalate, not to mention such “inactive” ingredients as Triethanolamine, Benzoic acid, or Phenoxyethanol . . .

So I wonder: Will this inconsiderate, self-indulgent new habit become outlawed anytime soon, or will the fad simply fade away like a summer tan in autumn?

I don’t know. But I am holding my breath.


Overheard at Starbucks

In a discussion between two men about how to define towns with character:

“Atlanta has no character, it just has the Braves,” one said.

“Yea, Baltimore has the Orioles, but it also has character,” the other said. “You know what: To have character, you need to have characters.”